Forum Feature: Fully Painted Armies

by ImJasonH - August 13th, 2009

A completed, fully painted (and well-painted) army is a beautiful thing to behold, a unique snowflake made of dedication and antisocial isolation.

Anyone badass enough to actually own an entire army, painted, complete, should show it off at every opportunity. They should get t-shirts made up. They should have pictures of them sent out as Christmas cards. Pictures of your completed armies should be framed and placed in front of pictures of your children and loved ones.

Well, maybe that’s a bit much, but they should at least post pictures of that shit in the Eternity of War forums.

But you’ll have to beat these impressive contributions, or else everyone will just laugh at you. (click to enlarge)

A Gross Bug's Tyranids

A Gross Bug's Tyranids

Playa's Chaos Space Marines

Playa's Chaos Space Marines

Gorgeous.

If you have some pictures of your own, feel free to lay the smack down on these chumps by posting them. And if not, close your browser and get your lazy ass back to your painting table!

Forum Feature: BATTLESHOTS

by ImJasonH - August 10th, 2009

The Eternity of War Forums have some incredibly talented painters and modelers. But what they also have are some pretty damn proficient photographers. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at what lurks in the BATTLESHOTS thread.

Too lazy to click on a link? Don’t worry, I’ll just blow your socks off from right here. Click to enlarge

Alpha Legionnaires taking cover behind a Rhino

Alpha Legionnaires taking cover behind a Rhino

FUCK YOUUUU

FUCK YOUUUU

The Bouncer catches a Rhino by surprise!

The Bouncer catches a Rhino by surprise!

Marbo waits to drop his demo charge

Marbo waits to drop his demo charge

All of these, and many more, await you in the BATTLESHOTS thread. So what are you waiting for, maggot, get a move on!

Oh yeah, and if you have any of your own, post that shit so we can think you’re awesome.

Thanks to forum posters A Gross Bug and Syphilis for posting the images you see above.

Mathhammer 101: Kills per Point, Tyranids Edition

by ImJasonH - July 30th, 2009

eng101 big
In my previous installment of Mathhammer 101, I explained a method of getting the most effective army for the least money. In those calculations, points were used as the sole measure of effectiveness. Of course, anyone who’s been around the wargaming block knows that points are an imperfect measure of effectiveness. Dozens of models lie unused at the bottom of a carrying case because they’re “not worth its points.”

The problem is, points are only roughly related to effectiveness, and even “effectiveness” itself is a slippery term. A 100 pt model is not always twice as effective as a 50 pt model (for some definition of “effectiveness”). An upgrade that costs 10 pts does not always make you 10 pts-worth more effective.

To try to at least roughly decide whether a model or upgrade is “worth its points”, you can calculate its kills per point, or kpp.

This is calculated by figuring out how likely it is to kill an enemy model, divided by how many points it costs. Doing this for a variety of units or upgrade permutations can give you a guideline for which units or upgrades are “worth it” and which “aren’t.”
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Cutting Trees

by Ted Royston - July 29th, 2009

In my last article, I wrote in detail on the various options available to a Wood Elf player and how to use them to make an ass kicking army. I’ve probably inspired a few amongst you to pick up Wood Elves since then, after all, it was a really good article. What’s worse is that I might have inspired one of your friends or a member of your European Style Gaming Club (more on that later) to start a Wood Elf army. If that’s the case, you’re probably yelling, “how the fuck do I stop these half naked, pointy eared pedos and their naked wooden girlfriends from kicking my balls in?”

fry-stress

If you’re yelling that or something similar, this is the article for you. If you’re playing your own Wood Elf army, you should still read this but deny its existence to any of your friends (or club members). Unlike my last article which gave you a unit by unit rundown, this one is much more general in its scope. There’s two reasons for that. One, I don’t know every trick up every sleeve in the Old World. There’s definitely going to be some guaranteed Wood Elf-killing combo I overlook. Two, GW’s release schedule means that the power balance between different armies is always changing. What I say about Skaven may change in six months. What I say about Tomb Kings may change in a year.

Instead, I’m going to give you a look at the Wood Elves’ weaknesses and let you devise specific schemes to take advantage of them. I’ll mention specific units here and there for example’s sake, but that’s not necessarily a suggestion. Basically what I’m saying is if your Grail Knights end up being slaughtered by some Dryads, don’t call me a faggot. You’re the one who blew the rolls.

So now that I’ve hemmed and hawed and made my little disclaimer, let’s get down to the business of talking about how to fuck up Wood Elves. Let’s start with an overview of how armies interact on the table.

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Weathering Powders: They’re Not Just For Sniffing Anymore

by Springfield Fatts - July 26th, 2009

Sup nerds. If you’re like me, you have adult onset diabetes from too many bags of Munchies, and you also like painting slightly homoerotic hunks of plastic and metal. I recently got onto the Ork bandwagon after Black Reach was released, and suddenly realized I’d have to paint things that were actually dirty. I had read over the blogs and guides and tips like you’re doing now, and had seen one of the tools used by military modelers (or “scale” modelers as they like to be called on their shitty forums) was weathering powders. Now, I consider myself a completely decent painter by all standards, and like trying out new techniques provided that are easy and cheap. So what the hell are weathering powders?

Weathering 1
Take a high quality pastel chalk used in a lot of art projects and sketching, grind it up to a very fine powder, stick it in a bag, and then charge the shells of human beings that buy them from you after you’ve renamed them from orange to something catchy like Rustgut Ochre and you’ve essentially got weathering powders, or pigment powders, whatever the fuck you want to call them. There are actually a few suggestions saying you can grind down art chalks from craft stores and create similar products, but I haven’t tried it. I got these at a choo choo store! It’s actually a decent bargain. Most are sold in kits of 4 powders, with a general color palette like rust, grease, or mud themed shades for roughly 10 dollars. When you think about it, that’s like 2 Games Workshop paints, so you won’t hear me complaining.
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Tree Hugging

by Ted Royston - July 24th, 2009

Wardancer

The first Fantasy Battles mini I ever bought was a Wood Elf Wardancer. That was back in ’91, and I’ve been playing them ever since. I’ve had my dalliances with other armies: Orcs & Goblins, Dwarfs, Bretonnians, and I’ll admit I’ve always wanted to put together a nasty Clan Pestilens horde. But I always go back to my Woodies, and Games Workshop helps me along by making them one of the best armies in the game.

It’s appropriate that The Patriot is playing as I sit down to type this. Not because of any joke conflating the Crown’s taxation offenses with GW’s ever climbing prices, but because the film’s battle scenes focus skirmishing irregulars making a joke of rigidly organized battle lines.

Like the “Indian” fighting revolutionaries depicted in that movie, the Wood Elves don’t play by the rules. They don’t maneuver around in large static blocks. They don’t win a fight by piling ranks on banners for combat resolution. There’s not a warmachine or suit of heavy armor to be found in their list. Their basic melee infantry are skirmishers. Their shock cavalry are fast cavalry. Their missile troops work better when you move them. Beyond a statblock shared with the other Elf armies, the Wood Elves have nothing in common with any other army.

Wood Elves win battles by exploiting the tremendous difference between their playstyle and that of more staid Warhammer armies. That line of battle you work out with your Empire or High Elf army means nothing to a Wood Elf general, except as something to pull apart and destroy in pieces.

Whereas most armies work best when you run them like one giant machine, the Wood Elves function best when you think of them as flexible strike forces focused on destroying key parts of that machine. A Wood Elf army is flexible and mobile in ways that Empire and Greenskin players can only dream of. Dwarf and Undead players will gasp at how fast your army can move about the board. Even their cousins, the High and Dark Elves will have a tough time keeping up with a Wood Elf army.

When you look at the Wood Elf army list, you’ll see entry after entry that can move fast and strike hard. You’ll also notice an almost complete lack of armor saves, but that’s mitigated by the fact that you’ll be the one deciding when and where the fight happens.

But enough blathering; let’s take a look at the list, and see what it can do.

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Gifts of Chaos for Battlefleet Gothic

by Banana Bunch Omega - July 24th, 2009

Based on all of the material published about the fickle Chaos Powers in the GW universe, I felt it a little bizarre that BFG simply threw it out an airlock and allowed a ship to simultaneously be pledged to Khorne and Tzeentch. Therefore, when the time came to run a campaign for a bunch of people who are all enthusiastic fans of the W40k universe, I felt this matter had to be addressed. These followed.

In essence, these rules replace the existing “Marks of Chaos” as mentioned on page 128 of the printed Battlefleet Gothic rulebook. The reasoning behind these rules is to bring BFG back into line with the older Chaos fluff (from a time when it was less about “take whatever”, i.e. the previous codex) in which the Gods rarely work together, and certainly would not have a single unit or ship be pledged to more than one simultaneously.

DaemonshipI always saw a Mark of Chaos as the first step towards Daemon Prince-ness, a unique thing which identified someone to their favoured deity – rather than a simple brand or symbol which powers you up (as BFG wants to portray it as.) Once you’re Marked, your patron deity then bestows his power upon you rather than you seeking it from somewhere else at the same time.

Also, I’ve seen some great Plague Ship conversions which deserve a lot more than a simple “Mark of Nurgle – +1 Hit and Immune to Boarding,” especially in campaigns given the absurd superiority of the “Space Marines” appeals compared to the “Forces of Chaos” one.

Implementing these rules

Campaigns

Gifts of Chaos can only be taken if a ship is Marked with a certain god. Any subsequent “Marks” mentioned in the rulebook should be read as “Gifts” and a roll on the following tables made. In addition, Chaos fleets may now attempt to Mark a ship or bestow Gifts on a marked ship as an Appeal, with a difficulty of 6+.

Single Battles

Any Marked ship which would normally be allowed to take additional Marks should instead take Gifts of the relevant god at the prices below. Ships which take one Mark may also take a single Gift.

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A Sperglord’s Guide to 5th Edition 40k

by frest - July 23rd, 2009

Warhammer 40k logo

Often the thread in GBS prompts people to say something along the lines of, “I really like the concept behind this army, but HOW DOES IT PLAY?” or the dreaded “Are they any GOOD?”  I see it in my local nerd store all the damn time; people bemoaning the cosmic injustice of their preferred army of plastic men being slightly less potent in a Sci-Fi war-game.  For the uninitiated or would-be hobbyist, these sort of arguments about balance and relative power are mystifying and frustrating.

You may find yourself in that limbo, trying to decide whether the army that tickles your creative fancy will give you a decent shot at ever actually winning a game.  You might have a dusty army of old models from a previous edition, collected during your wayward youth, and are considering playing with them now.  You might even be already mentally committed to our silly hobby, but want to minimize your financial outlay (fool me once, every single CCG ever).

Let’s set this one down easy right now.  Barring an extremely competitive local metagame, you can have fun and successfully win games of Warhammer 40k with any army. However, this doesn’t mean that they are equal!

You’ll find me using this big gay word METAGAME an awful lot.  What does it mean, you say to yourself, while stroking your neckbeard and letting your glassy doll-eyes stare unfocused at your collection of anime wallscrolls.  Fear not, gentle goon.

In this context, META usually means self-referential or self aware.  So when we ‘sperg out and act like mildly retarded children about our strong opinions on balance within a wargame, we’re being meta.  We’re referring to the game-within-a-game, the counters and the interplay between armies that all approach the same basic ruleset from different perspectives.

If your local nerd store is populated by ultra-competitive nerds, then it’s going to be tough going for armies that are currently disadvantaged by the changes in the rules.  If your bros and dudes are fans of narrative gameplay, fluff-based armies, or generally don’t like taking beardy lists then you can often find a lot of entertainment value in playing less potent armies.  For the casual player, your local metagame will have significant impact on how much fun you have when playing pick-up games of 40k. Use your flawless common-sense and unfailing social graces to investigate this before you start buying stuff, because this can save you a lot of grief.

NEEEERRRRRDDDSSSS

NEEEERRRRRDDDSSSSS

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Suggestions for the blog?

by wimpbastard - July 23rd, 2009

We want your feedback and suggestions! How can we make the blog better? Have you got something you can contribute? Are you annoyed about that spelling error?

Tell us what we’re doing wrong!
blog forum

Painting Rusty Metal, Ork Style

by richyp - July 22nd, 2009

This is a quick recipe I use when I want a simple but effective looking oily, rusty metal.

1) Mix up Orange Foundation Paint + Boltgun + Black (3:2:1), get a large brush and liberally plaster the area.
Rusty Ork Step 1
2) Drybrush Black + Boltgun over the previous layer
Rusty Ork Step 2
3) Do a very light drybrush of pure Boltgun over the raised edges and voila
Rusty Ork Step 3

For a final touch wash the crevices with Devlan Mud, followed by Badab Black.

Here’s the same technique applied to some in progress orks.

Rusty Orks in Progress